We all have our story. Sometimes our story is about someone we know. Sometimes our story is about ourselves. But we all have a story about depression or suicide. That’s part of what makes it worse.
Because we all have our stories, it is easy to think that everyone else’s story will sound just like ours. “They can get help the same way I did.” “Surely, this is a phase they’ll come out of, just like my friend.”
There is One who can heal and who may do so miraculously with His touch or medically with His gift. But sometimes His voice goes unheard in the loud din of depression. Sometimes the inability to hear results in suicide.
That comes after believing the lie that your life does not have intrinsic value. But that lie sounds so much more convincing when heard through depression.
Once you believe and act on it, there’s no more hiding it. Everything is in the open. And some may judge it more severely because of the finality it brings.
But there is a finality to every sin. We cannot take them back. Each one reveals a lie we have believed, even if our revelation is not to the entire world. Every wrong choice is a step you cannot take back.
Yet, virtually every other step allows you to make another choice about the next step. Suicide, as such a public and final step, stirs up questions—most often why? Why would they do this? Why did they not know they were loved?
When we find no satisfying answers to why, we may move to who. Who can we hold accountable? Too often when tragedy strikes, we look for someone to blame, instead of someone to help.
At this point, we’ve moved beyond the person who took their own life. This is now about us. We want it to be simple and easy. To say we’ve “solved the case.” But this fallen world is messy and things aren’t always that simple.
There is a finality to every sin. We cannot take them back. Each one reveals a lie we have believed. Every wrong choice is a step you cannot take back.
When such a final, complicated, regrettable act happens, we are all left with questions. But that doesn’t mean we will always get answers now.
After all, we are not asking questions about our story, but about the lies believed by someone else. Those don’t often get an answer in this moment.
In The Horse and His Boy, Aslan explains to Shasta how he has been with the young boy for his entire journey, even though Shasta never realized it.
“I was the lion who forced you to join with Aravis. I was the cat who comforted you among the houses of the dead. I was the lion who drove the jackals from you while you slept. I was the lion who gave the Horses the new strength of fear for the last mile so that you should reach King Lune in time. And I was the lion you do not remember who pushed the boat in which you lay, a child near death, so that it came to shore where a man sat, wakeful at midnight, to receive you.”
“Then it was you who wounded Aravis?”
“It was I.”
“But what for?”
“Child,” said the Voice, “I am telling you your story, not hers. I tell no one any story but his own.”
We are not guaranteed immediate answers to our story, much less a story that is not our own. Why should we be? We have enough lies to battle in our own life.
What gives us hope for our story is that we are not alone in feeling the effects of sin in this world. We aren’t the only one with scars. We worship a God who has His own scars, who felt the sting of sin, even though He knew no sin Himself.
Instead of looking for perfect explanations, which probably do not exist, why not look to the Truth, who undeniably exists?
In difficult moments, we turn to Christ, not because we will get all the answers we want, but because we get Him. We get the truth to combat the lies in our own story, whatever they may be.
Not Safe But Good
C.S. Lewis quote of the week
“‘You come of the Lord Adam and the Lady Eve,’ said Aslan. ‘And that is both honor enough to erect the head of the poorest beggar, and shame enough to bow the shoulders of the greatest emperor on earth. Be content.’”
For more on Prince Caspian, see the conclusion to our most recent Narnia read-along. The paragraph summaries for all 15 chapters, as well as links to almost 60 resources used to better understand Lewis and this book, are available to everyone. Paid subscribers now have access to the full read-along. We will begin The Voyage of the Dawn Treader this fall.
Lamp Post
Additional recent articles from me
Southern Baptist Attendance Gains Potentially Larger Than Reported — Lifeway Research
Few Churchgoers Actively Engaged With Prison Ministry — Lifeway Research
Travel Sports Create Issues and Opportunities for Families and Churches — Lifeway Research
More Behind the Wardrobe Door
To offer more content for paid subscribers, I’ll be moving the regular Door Jam section to a separate post on the weekend. That will provide links and summaries of interesting articles from others, pieces on Lewis and Tolkien, and news about franchises I may be reviewing like Marvel, Star Wars, and others.
I’m also considering adding a Monday morning devotional for paid subscribers. Some thoughts from weekly Bible study and small group preparation would be good, quick devotionals.
That word from Aslan to Shasta is one of my favorites.
When Peter saw him, he said to Jesus, “Lord, what about this man?” Jesus said to him, “If it is my will that he remain until I come, what is that to you? You follow me!” John 21